Over the past year and a half I have been learning a lot about self control. It used to be something I NEVER thought about. I ate what I wanted, used my time however I felt like it and let my emotions reign – – and then, oh, try to read my bible regularly. I really tried to compartmentalize certain parts of my life. I knew regular time with Jesus was important, but it was hard for me to carve out time each day.
In college I had an insane amount of free time (you always do – college girls, believe me… once you get out into the adult world you’ll realize how much time you had!) and was able to have unscheduled time between classes where I would go to Ses Chapel or a coffee shop and read for a while. And for that season of my life – that worked out all right. There were definitely times where I got busy and was not reading regularly, but it was decent.
And then I graduated. And got a job. And I got married. And I had a 50 minute commute twice a day (I feel for ANYONE who has a long commute!) And I was trying to learn to cook. And we lived an hour away from most of our friends. And I was trying to learn what the heck I was doing as an adult. And it was really kind of strange to have to schedule certain time in to spend with the Lord in bible reading and prayer, and I did that sometimes – – but honestly since we were far away from most of our friends, Bry and I usually hung out together. Ate dinner when I got home from work and would read and watch a movie somewhere in the evening. It was actually a pretty fantastic way to jump start the first 4 months of marriage:)
And then we moved. Which was amazing. Closer to friends. More stuff going on at The Oaks. But with trying to balance busyness at my job, spending time with my husband, hanging out with friends, hobbies, spending time with our families, trying to learn how to cook and clean and keep a home – – somehow there never seemed to be any time to spend with the Lord.
And I hated it. I would get so guilty and bent out of shape about it and would talk about it all the time – – this broken record of being really bad at spending time in the Word and in prayer.
I felt like I had heard all the tricks. “Try it in the morning!” (HECK NO! I am already exhausted waking up as it is!) or “Just schedule in your planner and then know it’s a meeting you have to do!” (but that never seemed to really work… if I had it scheduled in for 6:30 but I was in the middle of making dinner, I probably wasn’t going to stop) or “Just do it every night before you go to bed” (that worked for like 10 minutes… and then I would be so exhausted I would go to sleep and not remember anything I read or learned or prayed the night before).
And so it was this really big struggle. For a long time. And I decided I needed to do something about it…
(to be continued)