Loving Your Friend Through Infertility

I’ve been thinking about doing a series on this for a while, but had some hesitations.  There’s a scary part about being the “face” of any topic.  I was nervous that I would give bad advice, knowing that everyone does not respond to trials in the same way!!

However, I thought the positives outweighed the negatives.  My goals with this series is three-fold.

  1. To inform about the common thoughts of women struggling to get pregnant, including the lies we believe, the fears that plague us, the unmet desires and pain of living in a fertile world.
  2. To give a gospel view of infertility and help teach empathy – – helping you step into the shoes of your suffering friend.
  3. To empower family members and friends of couples with infertility to love and encourage them well. (Infertility affects 1 in 6 couples – – if you don’t know anyone now… unfortunately you probably will sometime soon.)

A couple notes:

  • I am not the authority on infertility.  I will share from my experience, hoping that it will give you a glimpse of what it is like to struggle with infertility.  Everyone is NOT the same and so loving your friend may look different from what I share. This battle also looks VERY different through different times in the process. Once again, I just hope to share what I have experienced thus far.
  • My goal is not to give you “3 steps to cheering your infertile friend up.”  Happiness is not the ultimate aim.
  • The hope of having children is not the ultimate aim. Telling your friend “it will happen, I know it will” is not helpful nor godly.  The goal is to kill sin and know Jesus Christ more through this battle – regardless of outcome.
  • This is not about giving your friend permission to throw a pity party. Believe me, I throw WAY more than my fair share of pity parties.  But the best way to love your friend is NOT to let her complain and curse God and dig herself into a pit of bitterness.
  • I will use the term “she” in most of these posts. This is because I am a woman, many of my readers are women and this is probably who you may be helping most of the time. However know that this is a JOINT struggle.  Men struggle with infertility too! Regardless of “who” physically is dealing with the infertility, both men and women go through different emotions in the battle.  Men may feel especially isolated since childbearing is supposed to be a “woman thing.”
  • I’m still learning.  Some of these posts are the first time I’ve put these thoughts on paper, so I ask you to be graceful with me:)
  • I would LOVE any and all feedback! I’d appreciate comments from people struggling to get pregnant as well as friends and family and what they have learned along the way.

Stay tuned…

Photo Credit: Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post

About jkl

Follower of Jesus, Pastor's Wife, Cookie Baker.
This entry was posted in Family, Friends, Infertility, Jesus, Loving Your Friend Series and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Loving Your Friend Through Infertility

  1. Kate Titus says:

    Looking forward to reading. Love you.

  2. jackielopina says:

    I can’t wait for the rest of this series. It is so encouraging to see how God is working in your life, how you fight sin daily and hourly. Sharing this struggle is glorifying to God and I believe that is why we go through struggles so we can encounter God and He can be glorified!
    I have friends from home with friends going through infertility and they have called me to talk through how to love them. Our friendship and this walk has helped me tell them things to say or not say. I am so thankful to live with you and walk through life with you! You teach me a lot!

  3. em says:

    glad curry clarified – i was really confused why jackie was giving herself a pep talk :)

    friend, i love you! i’m thankful that God has been so gracious to teach your heart many things through this painful season. you look more like Jesus than you did two years ago!

    looking forward to your series! love you so much.

  4. Christy Connell says:

    I second Emily. Thank you for doing this, I am excited to have more insight to what is helpful and what is not as well as seeing more of your heart and what God is teaching you about Himself. What a good God we have!

  5. peggy douglas says:

    Jackie, I love you so much and it hurts me to know how much pain you are feeling. I am so glad you have such a wonderful husband and such a close relationship with God to help you through this difficult time in your life.

  6. andrea says:

    Hi friend:)

    I LOVE your idea, I’ve thought the same thing so many times! Miss you so much and looking forward to chatting sometime soon…praying the Lord is so near to you today!

    • jackielopina says:

      Andrea!! You should TOTALLY guest post one or two!! That would be awesome! I miss you too! I will be able to SEE you in a few weeks- SO fun!! Thanks for your prayers… I shall be praying the same for you sweet friend:)

  7. Pingback: Loving Your Friend Through Infertility- Know How the Gospel Transforms This Battle « Hoping in God

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