Loving Your Friend Through Infertility – What to Pray For (Part 3)

(Here are the other posts in this series. This is the final post on prayer – – please see the first post here and the second here if you haven’t been able to read them yet!)

Pray for joy:
Ah, joy. Suffer long enough and you will have seasons of joylessness. I literally remember thinking once that I was never going to be happy, never going to feel joy again. In the past few months God has so graciously brought me out of that pit! I literally remember feeling the weight of despair lifted and deep joy in the gospel again. I thought to myself “ah joy! My long lost friend. It is so, so good to see you again.”

As I’ve written before, I personally feel joy and happiness are different. It is helpful for me to think of happiness as fleeting and temporal whereas joy is eternal. That’s a bit of mincing words and some will even argue that deciphering between the two is a problem. However suffer long enough and you will experience unhappiness. Of course, we are happy in the Lord and satisfied by our salvation. But during deep suffering, our day by day experience is of unhappiness. That’s when I think it can be helpful to decipher between the two.

Joy is putting our feet on the Rock and knowing that He will never let us down. Joy is knowing that no matter if your worst fears come true or you suffer for the rest of your life– there is purpose, hope, redemption and beauty that is yours right now, at the feet of Jesus. Infertility is still hard. But oh, when your friend has joy it makes the battle so much easier to bear.

Pray deeply for the Holy Spirit to bring your friend out of the pit and give her joy!

Pray for guidance:
I feel like my husband and I have done more discerning in the past 2+ years than ever before. Unfortunately there isn’t an appendix in the Bible labeled “what to do when you can’t get pregnant.”

It is very difficult to make these loaded decisions. These decisions can include if and when to seek medical treatment. They can include if medications or procedures are okay. They include who to tell and how long to try. They include thinking of different options like adoption or even child free living.

Many questions arise that aren’t necessarily considered if you don’t walk through this. And these are difficult questions. Bryan and I have mulled around decisions for a long time. There have been times where we disagreed or just had no clue what we should do.

Pray for your friend in these times. Pray that her husband and she can make their decisions through the lens of the gospel. Pray they seek to glorify God above all else. Pray for wisdom and guidance.

Pray for children!
You didn’t really think I was going to skip over this did you? Yes, pray for God to grow their family! Pray boldly that he will give them children! Ask that the couple will be sensitive to His leanings if He is calling them to pursue adoption or having a family by other ways.

Pray that God will answer their prayers and one day soon they can shout out Psalm 113:9 seeing that “God gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. PRAISE THE LORD!”

– Photo Credit: Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post



About jkl

Follower of Jesus, Pastor's Wife, Cookie Baker.
This entry was posted in Family, Friends, Infertility, Loving Your Friend Series, Sanctification and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Loving Your Friend Through Infertility – What to Pray For (Part 3)

  1. love these posts! God is so good and he does hear our prayers. Thanks for the excellent reminder and direction here!

    I know you’ve been focusing on how we can pray for our struggling friend, but I would also add that we should pray for guidance for ourselves as we love her. Often times, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything “right” that we can say. This can become frustrating as we try to be there for her and shoulder some burden. Pray for patience, grace, and opportunities to love her and meet her where she is. Pray to be reminded that it’s not about YOU. Pray for boldness to proclaim truth even when she seems to be in her darkest hour. Sometimes I can succumb to the feeling that speaking truth would just be an extra stab in the heart when she’s already in pain. I fear that she will be thinking, “yeah, easy for you to say.” Perhaps it IS easier for me to say – that’s why God has placed me there to remind her! Just a few thoughts……er mini blogpost :) LOVE YOU, FRIEND!

    • jackielopina says:

      excellent point Steph!!!! I love it! As someone who IS on the other side (as you are the friend loving me!) I so appreciate your thoughts and heart as you’ve been walking through this role for the past few years.

      Mini blog post eh?…. That gets me thinking… you should totally guest post what it looks like to love your friends!!What do you think?!? :)

      Love YOU!!!

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