Loving Your Friend Through Infertility- Let Us Love One Another (A Guest Post)

(See the rest of the series here)

Today we get to hear from a dear friend who has been an encouragement and blessing to me, even I’ve only seen her in person twice! :) Andrea and I connected through our blogs. You can read our friendship story here. Her and her husband have walked through infertility and heartbreakingly, have lost 2 babies. She is a woman who has lived in the trenches and trusting Christ through whatever He brings her way. And by the grace of God, she is now expecting!! Here is Andrea’s post:

“But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 1 Corinthians 12:24b-25

My husband Alex and I have been walking this journey through infertility for almost 3 years. Decades shorter than some and far longer than others. We can be acutely aware how different we are than those with children while at the same time we are shown just how similar we are. Walking this road has been a learning experience to say the least. From the beginning, we’ve been open about what was going on, wearing rose colored glasses I’m sure, thinking everything would straighten itself out in a few months. It didn’t. We chose to continue to walk this road authentically, hands wide open. And we’ve seen as we’ve waited and lost babies just how incredible the Body of Christ- our community- can be to those walking this hard road.

Jackie has mentioned so many great nuggets of truth throughout this series and I’ve loved the guest posts the past few days. So instead of repeating what has been said, I thought I would mention the way we have been so blessed by others.

Even after being married for 5 years I can still remember the waiting and longing that went hand in hand with singleness. I so desired to be married – desired the companionship, the transforming work of grace through marriage, and having a partner who would stick by me this side of Heaven. There was pain as friend after friend found love and got married. I became acutely aware how our friendship was changing. These same feelings surfaced when we found ourselves longing for children amidst the bountiful crop of babies the Lord had bestowed to, it seemed, everyone around us. Some feelings were valid and others needed to be taken captive, as they were sinful. But the hurt was real.

Like all things, this life around us is fallen and unfair and things hurt, but He who has bound Himself to us is good and faithful. He is our resting place in trial and through these fires we are being refined into the likeness of Christ. Our trials will all look different, but we will all experience them in some capacity. We will all long for something we do not have or desire a different outcome than what has been given.

As women we take our roles seriously. As wives we love, submit, and care for our husbands. As mothers we raise, love, and tend to the needs of our children. But one way we are all the same is that we are women of God. This binds us into the sisterhood of Christ. And this will allow us to cross the borders of fertile and infertile, single and married, young and older. As sisters in Christ we have much to talk about and share, and if we do this we can love one another through different life paths, just as Christ does.

As we walk down these roads together, let’s be Christ to one another. Be sensitive to one another; speak of common interests instead of solely being child focused. Bear burdens; let your friends know you are thinking and praying for them. Let us love one another well, lifting each other up and helping one another look to Christ. We are in this journey together, to help and strengthen each other.

Those are just a few ways we have been so incredibly blessed. By friends, who even though they have children, invite us over for quality time as adults after little ones are asleep; or mothers who love to knit or sew or cook and spend time creating with us, sharing the similar gifts the Lord has given us; or friends who love to meet for coffee, who immerse themselves in talking about the latest book they read or recipe they made. All in all, our ultimate similarity is the gospel. May we speak often of who Jesus is and what He has done for us. This crosses over any life stage. This strengthens the bond of sisterhood. Let us love one another.

-Photo Credit: Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post

About jkl

Follower of Jesus, Pastor's Wife, Cookie Baker.
This entry was posted in Friends, Infertility, Loving Your Friend Series and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Loving Your Friend Through Infertility- Let Us Love One Another (A Guest Post)

  1. Curry Winters says:

    Andrea, I am so thankful that Jesus brought you and Jackie together in friendship! It is amazing how he encourages and supports those He loves and I am so glad that you are able to relate and encourage each other!

Add to the conversation...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s