Loving Your Friend Through Infertility- Final Thoughts

(See the rest of the series here)

I am so, so grateful for the guest posts this week. I hope it has been encouraging, challenging and refreshing to hear from friends and a spouse who have DONE IT- who day in and day out love me (and others!) through infertility. I hope that it was beneficial to hear practically what loving your friend through infertility looks like. I am immensely blessed to have a husband who leads me and loves me well and friends who know me to my core and can carry me when I feel I can’t go on. However, I know friends who love this deep can be rare. I hope that this series and the guest posts will allow others to stand in the gap for their friends struggling to get pregnant.

I’m wrapping up my series on Loving Your Friend Through Infertility. It’s been a long road and I hope it’s been informative and has empowered you to deeply love those you know suffering through this journey. Although I’m finishing the series, for me- and many others – infertility is not over. Even getting pregnant doesn’t necessarily end it as my friend Andrea found out the hard way.

Infertility is not an acute event and because of that it can be easy to forget your friend’s long-term suffering. I beg you – don’t forget. Be quick to ask her how she’s really doing. Don’t be surprised when she weeps over a new pregnancy announcement even if it’s the 200th one she’s cried over. Walk with her as she navigates through the seemingly never ending questions, even if you’ve helped her answer them all before.

This road is ever changing, but in a way it’s always the same. Your friend’s heart hurts. She is struggling to trust in the God who graciously and abundantly gives life and is withholding it from her. Weep with her. Preach the gospel to her. Remind her that God really is good and does good (Psalm 119:68). He really does love her, even when she feels the opposite. Remind her that He showed his love for us by sending His Son Jesus to die on the cross (Romans 5:8). Jesus’ death paid the penalty for our sin and paved the way for us to join God’s family as sons and daughters (Ephesians 1:3-6). Our Father knows what it is like to weep over a child. Remind her THAT is the God who deeply loves her, THAT is the God carrying her through.

Seek to understand her. Ask how she’s doing. Rally around herPray for her. Be sensitive towards her. Encourage her. Challenge her. Rejoice with her.

Clutch your friend’s hand tightly. And let the journey continue…

-Photo Credit: Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post

About jkl

Follower of Jesus, Pastor's Wife, Cookie Baker.
This entry was posted in Infertility, Jesus, Loving Your Friend Series and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Loving Your Friend Through Infertility- Final Thoughts

  1. “Infertility is not an acute event and because of that it can be easy to forget your friend’s long-term suffering.”

    wise words and a great reminder – just like the rest of this series. Thanks so much for pouring yourself into this and empowering others through your experience. love to love you.

  2. Pingback: you never said it would be easy/ you only said I’d never go alone « still counting stars

  3. Naomi says:

    I was introduced to this blog and series this afternoon by seeing a link to one of the posts on Pinterest, and I’ve read all 20 posts since then. I am so thankful I saw it!

    My husband and I will celebrate our fifth anniversary in 2 months, and that will make five years of infertility. I have PCOS, so we started trying to have children immediately. Since our wedding, I’ve watched all my friends get married and have children, while my arms remain empty. I know this is all in the hands of my God who always does right.

    I said all that to say thank you for writing this series. You have said what I have longed to say, only I couldn’t find the words. Love and prayers to you.

    • jackielopina says:

      Hi Naomi! Oh, I’m so glad that this series encouraged your heart. Your story is so heartbreaking and I’m so sorry you’re walking through it. I pray that even in your darkest days, you know God loves you and is for you. His ways are above our ways and His thoughts above our thoughts.

      I hope this doesn’t come off as callous but I wanted to share one thing more. Since our family finally expanded through adoption recently know that when that joy comes- after so much sorrow, tears, disappointment and longing- it is even sweeter than you can imagine. Jesus has changed us so much through infertility and it’s so comforting to know He knew the end game all alone. Cling to Him. Oh, how he loves you. Hang in there:)


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