I almost didn’t want to write a post for today. And by that I mean I still don’t really want to write this post.
As if groups of women don’t talk about their pregnancies and children enough, mother’s day is the day where the fertile women of the world are celebrated, where people get even more doe-eyed over their babies and children and praise mothers that they make the world go ’round and for everything they are.
Moms work hard and are important, we all know that. I’m not trying to discount anything they do.
But man… for the infertile woman, the women who just had a miscarriage (or another miscarriage) or the women who just lost her mom… hearing all that is just the worst.
In recent years I’ve blogged for everyone – to remember Mother’s Day isn’t a celebration for everyone, to be sensitive in the way you celebrate. Last year I wrote a post sharing some great resources out there and the year before that I shared how hard this day can be and wrote 15 things I’m thankful for.
Two years later and knowing what our journey has brought, this day is more heartbreaking than ever.
And so even though I don’t want to, today I’m writing this post for you. You, dear reader, that struggled with infertility for a year and a half and just had her first pregnancy end too shortly. You, dear reader, who just finished paying the bills for your mom’s funeral. You, dear reader, whose adoption just fell through. You, dear reader, that is coping with the intense emotions that come from coming to grips with the fact you’ll never bear life. You, dear reader, whose alcoholic mom was never there for her and stood by as her boyfriends abused you. You, dear reader, who has gotten the terrible news her babies stopped growing and is still waiting for them to exit from her womb. You, whose mom has cancer and is probably celebrating her last mother’s day.
You, who along with me, dreads this day for weeks and tries to make it go by with as few tears as possible. (Sometimes easier said than done.)
You are not alone. You are not broken. You are not unloved.
Even as the world puts mothers on a pedestal, please know that you are not worthless because you are not one. You are not worthless because you are now without one.
Our circumstances are powerful, but they don’t dictate who we are.
And so for all of us whose suffering is magnified by the celebration of today, I beseech you to remember:
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34: 18
Jesus wants us to call to Him, to cry out to Him. He has known pain. He has known suffering. He has known betrayal and disappointment. He tells us:
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30
Even when it seems you are suffering alone, even if no one knows the true depth of your sorrow – Jesus does. He keeps track of every doubt, every fear, every tear.
You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book? Psalm 56:8
Hang on, fellow suffering sisters and brothers. Tomorrow is a new day. And though our circumstances may be no different, we can lean on Him who is good, loving, kind, compassionate, strong, wise and sovereign.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
Oh, how he loves us.