Baking is my favorite hobby. Because of that, I do it A LOT. I make a few recipes that are to die for. And I’ve made more than a few recipes that were not great… and some that were just terrible.
Maybe it’s because I bake a lot, but people often disclose to me how they “can’t bake” or are “a really bad cook.” I have people share stories that seem like battle wounds of dinners that went in the trash or hockey puck cookies. When these stories are being shared, they seem almost shameful, like these kitchen flops make them a bad spouse or a terrible adult.
Sometimes people end up crying at the dinner table because a meal you spent an hour on wasn’t worth it. Or people refuse to bring food to a party because they’re embarrassed at their skills. I’ve been there. In our first year of marriage, I SO wanted to be a good cook. So I cooked a lot. And sometimes it was really bad. More often than not, it was just ok. Okay is still rather disappointing when you worked really hard to make a delicious meal and it misses the mark.
Those flops don’t bother me much anymore but I still can get very frustrated at my misdeeds as a wife or inability to conceive and grow a child. The latter especially is where my failures take deep root and tell me I’m not good enough. You may not necessary hear the “you’re not good enough, etc” in your mind so clearly but if you cry after a bad dinner, feel defeated after you break something while cleaning or want to give up after a baking flop, let’s be real- you are feeling it.
We internalize these failures and our perceived failures to say “I’m a failure as a person or as a wife.” I distinctly remember my husband saying to me:
If I wanted a cook and a maid, I could have gotten one. I want a wife. You’re much more than that.
How freeing! Often when we want to serve God or our husband by taking care of our homes, we can lift this up to utmost importance. It is important but it’s not the most important. Our value and self worth are not based on what comes out of our kitchen or on having a spotless bathroom, but on who Jesus’ blood makes us to be. He gives us identity as adopted sons and daughters. He gives us worth.
And so even if you’ve had a recent kitchen or home or hobby failure that left you disappointed, try, try again! There is freedom to fail and there is grace from God to cover all of our failures.