Today is my very first Mother’s Day. I’ve waited for years. The past 4 Mother’s Day loomed on the calendar… taunting my barrenness as it came closer and closer. Today- my baby is 6 weeks old. Sometimes I’m still in disbelief.
My mind is full today. I think about what God has done in our family and through our infertility. I remember what it felt like- really felt like- to cope with losses and disappointment and heartbreak.
I know there are so many out there still struggling. Trying to get pregnant although each passing month gets a little harder to hope. Knowing there’s a problem and making the decision to begin infertility treatment. In the midst of the pills and shots and doctors appointments… only to get news of another failed cycle, another negative test. In the adoption process but just waiting and waiting. Matched with a family who changed their mind.
Maybe this day is hard for you because you long to be a mom but haven’t found the right man… you feel so many steps away. Maybe your mother is sick or has recently passed. Maybe your mom has been gone a long time or just was never there for you, never the mother you hoped she’d be. So many emotions and so much heartbreak in any of these situations.
Sisters, hang in there. Cling to Jesus who loves you and cares for you, who weeps with you and counts all your tears. He knows your heart. He knows your story- the past, present and the future. Run to Him with your bleeding heart today.
On top of all those situations there are birth moms- women who choose adoption because they love their children deeply and are missing them today. I think of Bryan’s birth mom. This day may be bitter for her. She’s a mom but someone else is raising her child. Yes, she chose that but that doesn’t necessarily make it easier.
As I was wrapping up her small gift, a wave of emotions washed over me. She was Bryan’s first mom- the woman who got the positive pregnancy test. The one who felt him kicking and moving inside of her. The one who went through hours of tough labor to bring him forth. The one who made the ultimate sacrifice of giving up her desires and placing her child in a family who would raise him. And I am so thankful for her.
Without her, I would not be a mom.
Because of her pain, I can have immense joy. Without her and Bryan’s birth dad, we would not have our incredible son. I will be forever grateful to them.
And so to the infertile and those hurting, just trying to get by today, I wish you comfort and peace. I wish you a day not packed with misery but with surprising little bits of happiness. Endure.
To the moms, I wish you intense gratitude for your children and for the families God has given you. May you feel celebrated today.
And for the birth moms, I pray you know that your decision changed lives and created families. There are women whose dreams came true because of you. I am one of them. And to my son’s birth mom, today I am praising God because of you. You brought forth the miracle that has changed my life. Thank you for choosing life. Thank you for choosing adoption. Thank you for choosing us. Happy Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day (15 Reasons I’m Thankful for my Infertility) – 2010
Mother’s Day for the Rest of Us – 2011
Another Mother’s Day – 2012