The Story of Our Son – Coming Home (Part 5- The Final Chapter… But Really Just the Beginning:)

IMG_8016 bw copyOur sweet son is ours. He had some minor health issues at birth so was in the NICU for a while. We were there all day every day and a few nights sleeping in an uncomfortable recliner by his bassinet.

The doctors originally told us 1-2 months. It sounded like a long time but we were willing to do whatever we needed for Bryan to come home and be healthy. The first two weeks were such an emotional high from getting our baby it didn’t seem hard that he was still in the hospital. The last couple weeks started to get a little old. Thankfully the doctors had given us a probable time we could come home and it was getting closer!

We were told Friday, April 26th was the day. I spent the night there Wednesday and he had an awesome night. At rounds Thursday morning they did their report then said “So we were thinking of discharging today or tomorrow.” My ears perked when they said today but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. The doctor- a man of few words- looked at me and said “Mom, what do you prefer?”

“We’d LOVE to go home today if we can.” “Okay,” he said. “Today it is.”

Ahhh!! After 24 days in the NICU, we were actually getting to bring our baby home! I quickly called Bryan to share our great news! I drove home to get the car seat and other things and so Bryan and I wouldn’t be driving two separate cars.

SONY DSC

After installing hundreds of car seats I now got to install one for MY child! So great.

SONY DSC

We drove up there, packed up our stuff, got his hearing test and went through discharge. Soon enough, we were saying goodbye to our nurses and walking him out the door. Walking into the fresh air was so freeing- Bryan hadn’t ever felt that before!

I put his car seat in and sat down in the back next to him. He has never heard music before and Bryan and I had talked about what we wanted his first song to be.

Throughout the adoption process, there has been one song that felt the cry of my heart. It’s the song I listened to after we painted the nursery… when I was driving away, house completely dark but a single light in that window. Hope beckoning. It was what I listened to driving home from my gorgeous baby shower, joy searing my heart. Hope growing. It was what we sang at church just a few weeks before he was born. Hope almost culminated.

Oh! How He Loves Us.

Tears filled my eyes as the magnitude of God’s love was so present driving home with our son. My heart could not shout the depth of gratitude it felt. We prayed and praised God for the mighty work He has done in our family and for blessing us with this precious gift.

Bryan asked “What do you want to listen to next?” “Something good,” I said.

The next cords made me break out in weeping. As the lyrics began I remembered the first time my husband played this in the car for me: after our first miscarriage, dashed hopes and shattered dreams.

Farther along, we’ll know all about it.
Farther along, we’ll understand why.
So cheer up my brothers.
Live in the sunshine.
We’ll understand it, all by and by.

Our whole journey of infertility flashed before my eyes. The heartbreak, longing, losses and sorrows all led to this sweet baby next to me. He was what God had planned all along. Bryan was who God was thinking of when He whispered to my heart “It’ll be okay. Don’t give up… Not yet.”

SONY DSC

In an instant it all came rushing forward. The magnitude of it all. This heavy journey that led to this intense mind blowing joy. It was over. Our longing to have a baby had been fulfilled. It was almost too much. I was crying so hard, head in my hands, chest heaving. All our pain led up to this moment. It was beautiful. God lifted back the veil even more and let me see the loveliness of His face. Reminded me that His withholding was because of love, not punishment. Reminded me that He knew my sorrow would only last a season, that joy truly does come with the morning.

And now, we start anew. Infertility will always be a part of my story, of Bryan’s story… But now it has a happy ending. Jesus has revealed so much of His mercy and kindness and love, my heart could explode. We are so thankful. We are forever changed.

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About jackielopina

Follower of Jesus, Pastor's Wife, Cookie Baker.
This entry was posted in Adoption, Infertility, Jesus, Music, Our Son, Outpouring of Grace, Sanctification, Suffering and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to The Story of Our Son – Coming Home (Part 5- The Final Chapter… But Really Just the Beginning:)

  1. abbrogle says:

    I always need to be reminded of this…such an amazing story of God’s love towards us. Seriously seeing you with a big smile and baby in arms makes my heart swell:)

  2. jackielopina says:

    Thanks Andrea! It is so crazy how our babies make all the past sorrows go away almost immediately… so huge to remember the journey we’ve been on and how God has blessed us immeasurably! Hope you all are doing well!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Wow. What a story you have Jackie… how can I read this without crying!? What a good God we have, and what faithful ones you and Bryan are. I praise Him for you!

  4. Devon says:

    Oh how beautiful. So, so beautiful.

  5. Patricia Ann says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story… I couldn’t sleep tonight and found your blog… Live in the Sunshine. We’ll understand it, all by and by… My 43 year old son died May 22, 2013… He was the oldest of 3 children… I have 14 grandchildren… I think maybe for me, a broken heart is necessary… the pain is a sign that my heart is opening to the healing and nurturing of the One… and if I notice it, and allow it to happen, I experience comfort and a revelation of who I was created to be… Blessings on your family… Patricia Ann

    • jackielopina says:

      Aww Patricia Ann, I am SO sorry to hear about your son. I think a broken heart is the only thing you can have right now. I will be praying that God will speak to you in your sorrows, that you know he will count every tear and that eventually he can bring some comfort and healing to your heart. Thanks for reading.

  6. Sharon Stevenson says:

    I so enjoyed reading your story. I have three children, the last one about ready to leave for college. Parenthood has been so fulfilling and rewarding—-we love our children and we, too, are very lucky. I’m personally not all that religious, but your story resonates. My husband does adoption law and we both have known such joy in the stories of adoption.

    Just one piece of advice: Give that boy nothing but kisses, even when you think he’ll be too embarrassed. Just keep doing it, all through high school, no matter who he’s with. My middle son is twenty-five, very much a man’s man—-doesn’t live with us any more. But when he stops by the house, usually after softball game at our nearby park (I think he goes for the beer), he always gives me a kiss and tells me he loves me. In front of his friends, no embarrassment. As a matter of fact, most of them crowd in for a hug, too. They know what the house rules are!! It’s a learned behavior!

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