I wanted to write a little reflection about motherhood at this stage. Mostly so I can look back when Bryan is 12 months or 18 months or 5 or 15 and remember what it was like to be a new mom. I think one of the coolest things about being a parent is that once you become one, you’re one for the rest of your life. And there is something so special about becoming a parent for the first time. You could say the same thing about getting married or moving out on your own or probably a dozen different things. There is just nothing like it.
Here are some reflections on this beautiful mom life 5 months in:
Being a mom is different than I thought it would be. For one it’s more joyful. I kind of thought it would be like babysitting- you just take care of and play with a baby all day- which sounds pretty fun! But it’s so different when its your own child and you get to spend every minute with them. The love I feel is astounding. Bryan brings me such joy. I peek around the shower curtain and he gives me a huge smile which makes me smile. I tickle his belly and he gives a shriek and a laugh which makes me crack up. He does something silly and I laugh which makes him laugh. It is so much fun but it’s even more than that. The deep, abiding love I have for my son overwhelms me. Every day I am so thankful for God’s grace and goodness shown to me through this miraculous gift.
I’m still trying to get down how our days are supposed to look like. If we’re at home playing all day- it’s all good. But it’s still a little tricky to run errands and actually DO things. Every single time feels like a pretty big production. (AND I feel like I accomplished something major after I do each one!) I was recently reminded that grocery shopping use to seem impossible, so going out is getting easier… I just hope it gets easier still!
Bryan’s daytime sleep schedule is still a little erratic but we have a basic schedule. Wake up around 8/ play/ eat/ nap about an hour later/ he plays in the bouncer while I shower/ 2nd 30 min morning nap/ errands or playdates/ afternoon nap (anywhere from 30 min- 2.5 hours)/ play!/ last nap 5-5:30/ Daddy playtime/ sit at dinner table/ bedtime at 7! He eats every 3-4 hours in the day and is awake for 1.5-2 hours before falling asleep again. Bryan takes many catnaps during the day but his bedtime/ wake up habits are great so I’m good with it!
So basically I feel I’ve gotten down showering, pumping (3-4x day), washing bottles, eating and some days making dinner. Which is a win right? I remember how long it took me to feel I had time to eat!
I remember the first time he slept through the night (at about 2.5 months) and I was sad because I loved those nighttime snuggles. But then I got used to it and it was amazing! Of course it only lasted about 3-4 weeks:) Then we had a major sleep regression just before 4 months. He first woke up because he kept rolling over and would be mad, then teething, then just “off.” For the past couple weeks he has been waking up twice a night but he goes to bed right away (usually dream feeds but often wakes up when I put him down- he’ll just put himself back to sleep). Sleep is SUCH a big deal!
Bryan’s definitely at what I would call a touch point. I feel like we had one of those around 3 months where we said goodbye to the newborn phase and we’re on the cusp of another big one. He’s playing with big boy toys like his rock a stack, nesting cups and more electronic toys; he’s able to play independently for about 10 minutes while I do something close by; he communicates what he wants and is getting more persistent about it; he’s about ready to take off crawling and sit on his own; we just introduced a sippy cup and are preparing to start food! Wow we are getting ready for some big changes at 6 months!
A Few More Random Reflections:
I love not showering first thing in the morning. For some reason getting to spend a little extra time in my pjs feels more relaxing than getting ready for the day the first thing.
It’s strange to get to wear whatever I want. Every day. This has become more obvious as fall is starting and I would have been starting another year at my job and go back to work shopping. So… I wear what I want EVERY DAY? No dress code? So weird.
My definition of a clean house has evolved. I started making the bed every day. I never did this when I was working because I was in the “why make it in the morning when you’re just going to unmake it in the evening and no one sees it all day” camp. Well now I’m home and can see it. All day. It makes my house feel cleaner when it’s made.
I spend an exorbitant amount of my time washing bottles. Kind of the bane of my existence. If you exclusively breastfeed PLEASE say a quick “thank you” for how many hours of your life you get back from not having to wash bottles. (And MONEY you save for not having to buy formula- seriously!!)
I now understand how people talk about their kids all the time. Especially when you stay at home with them- that’s what I do for 12 hours a day and some at night too! However, I remember how alienating this was when I didn’t have children, and especially when I was trying to have a child. So I try to be intentionally mindful of it and to not be that guy.
It is so fun to be part of the mom club. There’s some moms who made me feel that sisterhood really quickly, who reminisced about how amazing rocking your baby to sleep is and how hard it is to find time to eat lunch at first. It was so wonderful. Then there are some whose comments make you feel like you’re not “mom enough”. It is awkward and kind of icky. All moms work hard enough- why do some of us tear each other down? It’s weird for me to see this side of motherhood.
I am crazy grateful for my husband. He’s such an awesome daddy. It’s so nice having a partner in parenting. Single moms- I salute you!!
The overarching theme in this stage is contentment and thankfulness. Such a beautiful thing. So thankful for my sweet baby and him making me a mama.