Looking Back and Looking Forward

My sweet son has been crawling for almost 3 months and pulling up just a day shy. He’s getting sturdier on his feet and has begun cruising from one object to another. He has a mouthful of teeth (8!), eats baby food well, is eating more table food, drinks out of a sippy cup and sits in a high chair when we go out. He is getting so big!

As I watch him doing new things every day, it can be bittersweet. It is insanely fun to see him curiously explore every nook and cranny. I love the way he cranes his neck, lifts up his chin and peers around us when we’re holding him to check out what’s going on. He reaches out for his mommy and what he wants. It really is unbelievable.

But as we’ve had friends recently have new babies, it reminds me of those new days and a part of me is sad. My tiny little baby isn’t so tiny any more. I remember the beginning… those hours of snuggling and Bryan falling asleep on me anywhere and everywhere. I remember being astonishingly tired and deleriously happy. We had a bit of a unique circumstance and for the entire first 6 weeks I was just incredulous he was ours.

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After 4 1/2 years of waiting for a baby, I cherished those days. I soaked up the baby snuggles and newborn smell. I remember being upset when he slept through the night at 3 months because I loved those middle of the night snuggles… our moment of privacy, like a secret shared between him and me while the world was sleeping. (Don’t be too jealous yet – that only lasted a few weeks!)

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But even though I soaked it up and cherished that time… it still went by too quickly.

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I read a blog post that discussed this sentiment exactly. I scoured for almost an hour to try to find it again, but unfortunately I couldn’t. After talking about time flying by and the days we’ll never get back with our children she said:

“But that’s the glory of it, isn’t it? Time marches on. There’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

And that’s it. That’s why these days are so magical. Why, no matter how much you cherish them, they still slip through your fingers. They’re precious. I’m reminded just how important motherhood is. Through the mundane tasks of the day you are changing lives. Your children’s – and your own. Each diaper you change is an opportunity to worship God. Each shared laugh teaches your children the joy of the Lord. Each hug and kiss shows them how you love them. It’s monumental and so easy to forget.

It’s only been 8.5 months and I’m this sentimental. And the thing is? I know time will only move faster. In a year or 5 or 25, I’ll be looking back at pictures of my bubbling baby boy and saying “Where did the time go?”

These days are precious because they pass all too quickly. It’s hard and it’s good. And it’s a reminder for me to be present always. To soak up these bedtime snuggles and crawling races. To kiss his chubby baby cheeks and take mental images to remember these moments as best as I can.

But at the same time, revel in the fact that my child is growing, learning, exploring. Marvel in his growing independence and how he’s figuring the world out. Be ecstatic for the little toddler, little boy and young man he’s growing into. It’s a balancing act..cherishing these days and at the same time being so excited for the days to come.

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About jackielopina

Follower of Jesus, Pastor's Wife, Cookie Baker.
This entry was posted in Motherhood, Our Son. Bookmark the permalink.

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