I wonder when most people would say they became a mom? Would it be when they first saw their positive pregnancy test? First heard their baby’s heartbeat or first held their baby in their arms?
To be honest my motherhood has felt very fluid. In a way, I became a “mom” when we adopted our embryos and they lived for a short time in my womb. Then again, I felt a little more like a “mom” when we got matched and I had a baby shower, saw a baby on ultrasounds, heard a heartbeat and planned for his arrival.
But none of these babies were who would come home with us, who I’d get to mother and raise every day, who would join our forever family.
When my son was placed in my arms for the very first time.
I hope I never forget that moment for as long as I live – – even when I’m old and senile, I hope that single memory is clear as day. The way he fit perfectly in my arms, the way his 1 day old eyes were open bright and zoned right into my eyes, into my soul; how everyone else in the room faded away and it was only him and me – alone, together. How finally, everything felt right.
“Hi. I’m your Mommy,” were the first words I told him. And finally. I was one.